My first winter in New Haven was cold,really cold. There were record breaking snowfalls levels, and low temperatures were put in the history books during the winter of 1977-78. There was so much snow that students took the dining hall trays and used them as sleds to go down Science Hill.
All of the athletes wore hooded sweatshirts. After showering at Payne Whitney Gymnasium, they would put on their hooded sweatshirts to return to their residential colleges on those very cold days in New Haven.
I hate cold weather. I was born in the Midwest and was raised in a town that is cold and gray for at least six months every year. I should be accustomed to the cold but I still hate it. So when it got very cold in New Haven, I went to the Yale Co-op and bought a grey hooded sweatshirt with Yale printed on the front.
Today, hooded sweatshirts are sterotypically worn by criminals to hide their identity from security cameras. When I bought my first hooded sweatshirt over 30 years ago, I would have never suspected a member of the Yale football team to be a criminal. I feel sad that my son may be targeted as a criminal just because he chooses to wear a hooded sweatshirt.
One day--- I hope that a person's choice of clothing does not lead to them getting killed. To make an assumption about the content of a person's character, based on what a person is wearing, is wrong.
In memory of Trayvon Martin.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Corporal Punishment
Earlier this week in the news there was a story about a teacher who had told her class to line up and hit the "class bully". I was appalled and immediately thought that the teacher was the real bully. She was training future generations of children to use corporal punishment to solve their problems.
I was relieved to hear that the teacher was fired and being prosecuted for reckless endangerment of the children in her class. What would have happened if the "Bully" had been injured by the repetitive hitting? Is it really the right answer to punish someone who teases, taunts and even hits his or her classmates by using the same bad behavior.
During slavery, owners would beat their property if they misbehaved or tried to run away. Slavery was outlawed. Parents should know that in some states if you use any object other than an open hand to spank your child, you will be arrested and may go to jail. I think that all people should follow a simple rule that I instilled in my children at a very young age:
"No biting, no fighting, no hitting nor scratching."
These are very simple rules but they also teach children how to solve their problems without using violence. Why do parents think it is fine to teach children not to hit but then turn around and use corporal punishment on their children when they misbehave or make a mistake? I do not understand this logic.
I was raised as a Baptist. You were considered a good parent if you spanked your child. When I was very young, my mother would make me get my own switch from a tree outside our house to beat me. My father only spanked me once with his hand. I learned from him that corporal punishment was not needed to discipline a child. "Spare the rod, spoil the child", does not give a parent the right to beat their children. If you believe every passage in the Bible, you would kill a person at the same time you turn the other cheek.
How many studies have been published about the detrimental impact of spanking a child? In movies such as "Roots" and "Amistad", the depiction of humans being beaten by their owners is enough to make you questions ever hitting any person. Why would a parent want to hit their child?
If you were raised by a parent who hit you, you will be more likely to use this form of punishment on your children. Does it make it right? If you were raised by a sexual molester, would you molest your own children? Does it make it right? The answer to both questions is a sharp, "NO!"
We are living in the 21st century. We should be able to say that humans have evolved beyond violence. Sadly, as a species I feel as if we are returning to the Stone Ages. Should clubbing and hitting be our only form of communication?
I never hit my children. They knew when they had misbehaved or had not obeyed a rule. They knew there would be consequences for bad behavior and I would enforce my punishments. Sometimes parents want to be friends with their children. Make friends with other adults and parent your children so that they grow up to be self sufficient and functional adults.
Parenting is hard and it takes discipline. If you are too tired to hand out a punishment without resorting to beating your child, then take a parent time out and deliver the punishment when you are in control of your emotions. If you can't set an example for your children about how to control your own emotions, how can you expect them to control theirs?
I was relieved to hear that the teacher was fired and being prosecuted for reckless endangerment of the children in her class. What would have happened if the "Bully" had been injured by the repetitive hitting? Is it really the right answer to punish someone who teases, taunts and even hits his or her classmates by using the same bad behavior.
During slavery, owners would beat their property if they misbehaved or tried to run away. Slavery was outlawed. Parents should know that in some states if you use any object other than an open hand to spank your child, you will be arrested and may go to jail. I think that all people should follow a simple rule that I instilled in my children at a very young age:
"No biting, no fighting, no hitting nor scratching."
These are very simple rules but they also teach children how to solve their problems without using violence. Why do parents think it is fine to teach children not to hit but then turn around and use corporal punishment on their children when they misbehave or make a mistake? I do not understand this logic.
I was raised as a Baptist. You were considered a good parent if you spanked your child. When I was very young, my mother would make me get my own switch from a tree outside our house to beat me. My father only spanked me once with his hand. I learned from him that corporal punishment was not needed to discipline a child. "Spare the rod, spoil the child", does not give a parent the right to beat their children. If you believe every passage in the Bible, you would kill a person at the same time you turn the other cheek.
How many studies have been published about the detrimental impact of spanking a child? In movies such as "Roots" and "Amistad", the depiction of humans being beaten by their owners is enough to make you questions ever hitting any person. Why would a parent want to hit their child?
If you were raised by a parent who hit you, you will be more likely to use this form of punishment on your children. Does it make it right? If you were raised by a sexual molester, would you molest your own children? Does it make it right? The answer to both questions is a sharp, "NO!"
We are living in the 21st century. We should be able to say that humans have evolved beyond violence. Sadly, as a species I feel as if we are returning to the Stone Ages. Should clubbing and hitting be our only form of communication?
I never hit my children. They knew when they had misbehaved or had not obeyed a rule. They knew there would be consequences for bad behavior and I would enforce my punishments. Sometimes parents want to be friends with their children. Make friends with other adults and parent your children so that they grow up to be self sufficient and functional adults.
Parenting is hard and it takes discipline. If you are too tired to hand out a punishment without resorting to beating your child, then take a parent time out and deliver the punishment when you are in control of your emotions. If you can't set an example for your children about how to control your own emotions, how can you expect them to control theirs?
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Why I Quit
My friends and family told me to read the article that is the cover story of the Atlantic magazine in the July/August 2012 issue. I am sharing this article with all of my friends because it summarizes what I could never articulate so succinctly.
YOU MUST READ IT.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-can-8217-t-have-it-all/9020/
WE MUST CHANGE THE WORKPLACE FOR OUR DAUGHTERS AND SONS. NOW.
DAYM
YOU MUST READ IT.
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/07/why-women-still-can-8217-t-have-it-all/9020/
WE MUST CHANGE THE WORKPLACE FOR OUR DAUGHTERS AND SONS. NOW.
DAYM
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
The Best Dad
I had an amazing father. He was my best friend. He taught me so much about life and how to be the parent that I am today. He was giving and loving and shared all that he had with my brother and myself. I hope there are lots of other sons and daughters that feel the same way about their dads.
My father taught me how to read and encouraged me to be a life-long learner. When I was accepted at Yale, he was very proud of me. After my first semester, I wanted to transfer to a local college. He made me stay and said that he did not raise quitters. I was very homesick and wanted to be closer to home. He told me to call him whenever I wanted or needed to talk. One month during my first year I had a $500.00 phone bill.
By the time I finished my freshman year, I was happy that I stayed at Yale. Sometimes parents need to practice tough love in order for their children to be successful in life. He had high expectations for me and wanted to make sure that I achieved my goals; Yet, he was gentle and firm all at the same time.
After graduation I worked at Goldman Sachs as a financial analyst. He had never heard of an investment bank. I don't think he understood what I did but encouraged me to work hard. He was a child of the Depression and did not trust the Stock Market. He had invested in real assets and was able to send me to Yale without any scholarships or financial aid.
During WWII, my father was a Buffalo Soldier in the last mounted calvary before the troop was disbanded. He got to see the world as a soldier and encouraged me to travel, even when he was too busy to accompany me. He believed that seeing the world would give me a better appreciation for my own country. He was so right.
He was not the traditional father figure. He did the grocery shopping, cooked all the meals, cleaned the house, did the laundry and was also a great provider. I look at other men today and wonder why they can't assume a few more tasks at home. It is possible to work outside the home and wash a few loads of laundry. I saw my father do so many things around the house. It is kind of funny when I think about it now; I thought all dads did these chores.
He loved the Earth and each year planted an award winning vegetable garden with corn, squash, tomatoes, beans and broccoli. He fostered my passion for gardening and how to care for all living things.
He showed me, by example, how to love my children unconditionally. If I made a mistake, he would talk to me about what I did wrong in a way that I never questioned his love. He also showed me what it means to sacrifice one's dreams and desires to make sure that the next generation has the opportunity to excel.
I love my father, and even though he passed away 15 years ago, my love for him never fades. I was blessed to be loved by someone so special.
My father taught me how to read and encouraged me to be a life-long learner. When I was accepted at Yale, he was very proud of me. After my first semester, I wanted to transfer to a local college. He made me stay and said that he did not raise quitters. I was very homesick and wanted to be closer to home. He told me to call him whenever I wanted or needed to talk. One month during my first year I had a $500.00 phone bill.
By the time I finished my freshman year, I was happy that I stayed at Yale. Sometimes parents need to practice tough love in order for their children to be successful in life. He had high expectations for me and wanted to make sure that I achieved my goals; Yet, he was gentle and firm all at the same time.
After graduation I worked at Goldman Sachs as a financial analyst. He had never heard of an investment bank. I don't think he understood what I did but encouraged me to work hard. He was a child of the Depression and did not trust the Stock Market. He had invested in real assets and was able to send me to Yale without any scholarships or financial aid.
During WWII, my father was a Buffalo Soldier in the last mounted calvary before the troop was disbanded. He got to see the world as a soldier and encouraged me to travel, even when he was too busy to accompany me. He believed that seeing the world would give me a better appreciation for my own country. He was so right.
He was not the traditional father figure. He did the grocery shopping, cooked all the meals, cleaned the house, did the laundry and was also a great provider. I look at other men today and wonder why they can't assume a few more tasks at home. It is possible to work outside the home and wash a few loads of laundry. I saw my father do so many things around the house. It is kind of funny when I think about it now; I thought all dads did these chores.
He loved the Earth and each year planted an award winning vegetable garden with corn, squash, tomatoes, beans and broccoli. He fostered my passion for gardening and how to care for all living things.
He showed me, by example, how to love my children unconditionally. If I made a mistake, he would talk to me about what I did wrong in a way that I never questioned his love. He also showed me what it means to sacrifice one's dreams and desires to make sure that the next generation has the opportunity to excel.
I love my father, and even though he passed away 15 years ago, my love for him never fades. I was blessed to be loved by someone so special.
Friday, June 15, 2012
Equal Pay for Equal Work
I think that it is ridiculous that women in the year 2012 are still not getting paid for the work that they do.
I have two daughters and I know how hard they work. They are smarter than most of the boys their age. They are more mature than most boys their age; so why should they be punished because of their gender?
Just because a woman may choose one day to have a child or not to have a child should not determine how much she is paid when she begins her career.
Women should take a stand today and just say,"No!"
Just say no to systemic discrimination for your daughters sake. There are more women than men in most colleges. There are more women than men in the United States today. So why do we let most men and a few women decide how much we should get paid for doing the same a work as a man.
When I was pregnant with my second child, I was put on bed rest for three months. After I delivered my daughter by emergency cesarean, I returned to work in 5 weeks. I could not drive or lift anything greater than 10 pounds. My boss told me you better get back to work soon before you lose your job.
In retrospect, my company was unfair to me. Gender discrimination was prevalent in the 1980's and 1990's. If a man had a heart attack while working, the company could not fire him. They would have to find a temporary replacement to fill the job or delegate his duties to other employees. In this situation there is no advance warning or time to plan. Heart attacks or any other sudden health crisis are not expected and can not be planned for.
Maternity is very easy to build into a corporation's work schedule and into their short term plans. So why are pregnancies treated so very differently from unexpected illnesses? Because we let men get away with it. Demand your fair pay and do not let any boss bully you into thinking that you are worth less just because you are having a baby.
Men can not multi-task as well as women and so they naturally assume that women can not either. Today, 77% of all mothers work outside of the home. We are no longer living in the 1950's when we had very little choice but to stay at home.
Is motherhood a real excuse for unequal pay or is it a reason for men and some women to pay less to a woman because she may take some days off from work? Everyone has unexpected situations that may cause them to miss work but mothers should not be penalized for having children. Everyone takes time off from work regardless of gender.
Have you seen the cost of college tuitions lately? Go to the Working Mother Magazine and find a female friendly work environment and get a job there if your boss is insensitive. My old company now has an emergency childcare facility at one of its offices, just in case your child gets sick and can't go to school or if the nanny is unable to come to work. If only they had childcare on site when I was a young mother, my life might have turned out quite differently.
There are companies that value the women who work for them. If you can't find one, then start your own company.
MOTHERHOOD SHOULD NOT BE A CAUSE FOR PAY INEQUALITY. This is the 21st Century.
DAYM
I have two daughters and I know how hard they work. They are smarter than most of the boys their age. They are more mature than most boys their age; so why should they be punished because of their gender?
Just because a woman may choose one day to have a child or not to have a child should not determine how much she is paid when she begins her career.
Women should take a stand today and just say,"No!"
Just say no to systemic discrimination for your daughters sake. There are more women than men in most colleges. There are more women than men in the United States today. So why do we let most men and a few women decide how much we should get paid for doing the same a work as a man.
When I was pregnant with my second child, I was put on bed rest for three months. After I delivered my daughter by emergency cesarean, I returned to work in 5 weeks. I could not drive or lift anything greater than 10 pounds. My boss told me you better get back to work soon before you lose your job.
In retrospect, my company was unfair to me. Gender discrimination was prevalent in the 1980's and 1990's. If a man had a heart attack while working, the company could not fire him. They would have to find a temporary replacement to fill the job or delegate his duties to other employees. In this situation there is no advance warning or time to plan. Heart attacks or any other sudden health crisis are not expected and can not be planned for.
Maternity is very easy to build into a corporation's work schedule and into their short term plans. So why are pregnancies treated so very differently from unexpected illnesses? Because we let men get away with it. Demand your fair pay and do not let any boss bully you into thinking that you are worth less just because you are having a baby.
Men can not multi-task as well as women and so they naturally assume that women can not either. Today, 77% of all mothers work outside of the home. We are no longer living in the 1950's when we had very little choice but to stay at home.
Is motherhood a real excuse for unequal pay or is it a reason for men and some women to pay less to a woman because she may take some days off from work? Everyone has unexpected situations that may cause them to miss work but mothers should not be penalized for having children. Everyone takes time off from work regardless of gender.
Have you seen the cost of college tuitions lately? Go to the Working Mother Magazine and find a female friendly work environment and get a job there if your boss is insensitive. My old company now has an emergency childcare facility at one of its offices, just in case your child gets sick and can't go to school or if the nanny is unable to come to work. If only they had childcare on site when I was a young mother, my life might have turned out quite differently.
There are companies that value the women who work for them. If you can't find one, then start your own company.
MOTHERHOOD SHOULD NOT BE A CAUSE FOR PAY INEQUALITY. This is the 21st Century.
DAYM
Sunday, June 10, 2012
It's My Birthday!
I am 53 years old today and very proud of my age. I have never pretended to be younger or older. I am grateful for every day that I have been blessed to be on this planet.
I have several friends who died young and I will never take life for granted. You never know how long you have on Earth.
My children are 24, 19 and 17 years old. I can not pretend to be 29 years old. If you do the math on that story, I would have given birth at 5 years of age.
Really. Not really.
I am proud to be alive. I am happy to be surrounded on this day by my children. I really enjoy their company. I can't imagine my life without them.
Thank you for making my life complete. I am loved and I love them very much.
I hope if you are reading this blog today you will wish me many more years to celebrate my birthday.
I have several friends who died young and I will never take life for granted. You never know how long you have on Earth.
My children are 24, 19 and 17 years old. I can not pretend to be 29 years old. If you do the math on that story, I would have given birth at 5 years of age.
Really. Not really.
I am proud to be alive. I am happy to be surrounded on this day by my children. I really enjoy their company. I can't imagine my life without them.
Thank you for making my life complete. I am loved and I love them very much.
I hope if you are reading this blog today you will wish me many more years to celebrate my birthday.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Graduation Time Again
One year ago, my youngest daughter graduated from high school. I have a few tears in my eyes thinking about how quickly time flies. Last week, she was home for only 5 days after completing her first year of college. It is almost unbelievable that she will be a sophomore at Uni( a slang word for university in the UK).
I just returned from Washington DC where she has a summer internship in communications. She is an amazing journalist and she is learning from the best. She was offered two internships during a time when many college students can not find one job. I feel blessed that all of her hard work has finally paid off.
She edits my writing and when I publish my book her touch will be evident. I am proud to say that she is an amazing writer. Her favorite high school teacher, approached her sister at an event last month. He told my oldest daughter that her sister was one of the best writers he had ever taught.
Do you see me beaming? My smile reaches across the page.
I miss her very much this summer. She was home for most of last summer. She was having the time of her life. She attended more graduation parties than anyone that I have ever known. It seemed as if the parties would go on forever. She traveled to the Dominican Republic, New York and Connecticut. She was even supposed to go to Tennessee for the Bonnaroo Music Festival with a group of her classmates. They were going to sleep in tents and live like the flower children of the 60's. She was supposed to drive for 10 hours with 2 friends and then camp out for 3 days in the woods.
The experience sounded like a repeat of Woodstock. In 2010, we visited the famous site of the Woodstock Music festival in upstate New York. My daughter loved it. My daughter has always been a fan of the 60's. She took a class in high school called "Music of the 60's". She got an A in the class. I sometimes think that she was a "love child" in another life.
I am happy to report that after months of worry, she decided not to go the music festival in Tennessee. I was so relieved that she did not to go. I still worry about her driving on the highway. I guess I need to accept that she is only months away from not being a teenager anymore.
Where did the time go? Twenty years ago, I was moving to a new city, starting a new job, buying a house and pregnant with my second baby. That baby is now 19.5 years old.
"Life is a journey, not a destination." Souza
Enjoy the journey. When your children are born, you never know where their journey will take you.
DAYM
Sunday, June 3, 2012
The Cost of a College Education
When I started Yale in 1977, my tuition was $7500. When I graduated four years later, it had risen to $11,500. My father finished the 8th grade and my mother finished the 9th grade. I was not eligible for financial aid but my dad toke out one student loan during my college years. He paid the loan off completely within 5 years of my graduation.
When my daughter started Yale in 2006, the tuition was $42,000. When she graduated in 2010, it had risen to $50,000. The tuition, room and board fees do not include books, transportation, personal hygiene supplies, beer, or pizza money. When I calculated how much it cost to put her through Yale, I realized what a huge investment this Ivy League education had been. I looked at our retirement savings and realized that the financial sacrifices that my husband and I have made may never be recouped in our lifetime.
We made the investment in higher education when our oldest turned 4 years old. I wish I could tell you that we used the public schools in our neighborhood but that would not be the truth. When we moved into our home 20 years ago, I told my husband that we would never be able to use the local school system. If we had purchased a home in a different neighborhood, we may have been able to use the public schools until 8th grade. My husband and I only agreed on purchasing this one house. We made the choice to use private schools the day we signed the purchase agreement.
I know that we have been blessed to be able to make a choice when so many parents can not.
Without a college education, a child's future is limited.
How will my grandchildren be able to afford the dream of sending their children to college?
DAYM
When my daughter started Yale in 2006, the tuition was $42,000. When she graduated in 2010, it had risen to $50,000. The tuition, room and board fees do not include books, transportation, personal hygiene supplies, beer, or pizza money. When I calculated how much it cost to put her through Yale, I realized what a huge investment this Ivy League education had been. I looked at our retirement savings and realized that the financial sacrifices that my husband and I have made may never be recouped in our lifetime.
We made the investment in higher education when our oldest turned 4 years old. I wish I could tell you that we used the public schools in our neighborhood but that would not be the truth. When we moved into our home 20 years ago, I told my husband that we would never be able to use the local school system. If we had purchased a home in a different neighborhood, we may have been able to use the public schools until 8th grade. My husband and I only agreed on purchasing this one house. We made the choice to use private schools the day we signed the purchase agreement.
I know that we have been blessed to be able to make a choice when so many parents can not.
Without a college education, a child's future is limited.
How will my grandchildren be able to afford the dream of sending their children to college?
DAYM
Summer is Near; Forms, Forms and more Forms
4.25.2012
I just completed, I think, all of the forms for summer camps and summer internships. My children are older now. The number of forms that I had to complete this year was significantly less than the number of forms that I had to fill out when the children were younger.
When my children were 5, 7 and 12 years old, I had one folder for each child that contained all of the summer camp forms that needed to be completed. If I was not organized, I might miss a deadline or forget to fill out an important form. There were forms to fill out for them to be a member of the swim team. In addition, each sports' camp, theatre camp, tennis camp or academic enrichment camp had different general information forms. Each camp also needed pictures, medical history forms, medical authorization forms in the event of an emergency, photo release forms, and clothing sizes for the camp uniform, which was usually a t-shirt or a swimsuit.
When you have just one child this task does not seem too daunting. If you have three children attending at least three different camps and sometimes attending more than three different camps each, you want to pull your hair out. I would get writer’s cramp because these forms all had to be filled out by hand. In the year 2000 A.D., when we were living in the stone ages, no one had forms that were completed on the computer. No one had auto-fill. Even on this day in the year 2012, I had to complete several forms the old fashioned way by using handwriting and not computer typing.
My son is studying abroad this summer. I needed a copy of his passport, an insurance information and release form, which also needed an authorization form completed by our insurance company. Just in case he had a medical emergency abroad, we might get reimbursed for it. Insurance companies rarely reimburse us for medical emergencies in the USA, so I doubt that we will get any money from them if the emergency takes place in a foreign country. Finally, I had to complete a passport information form, in the event that my son lost his passport. These forms were in addition to the Enrollment Contract, the Rules Contract and the Statement of Understanding Contract that were completed by my son when he applied to be accepted to this language immersion and art history study program 5000 miles away from home. He also had to get 4 additional passport photos taken that will be used for an international student ID and a bus pass.
In addition to all of the forms that had to be filled out, there is also an eight-page guide called, “Notes”. It took me one full day to read and complete all of the forms and call the insurance company. I also think that I should hire a lawyer to make sure that I am not signing away any of my rights to litigate the school, in the case they lose my child. Yes, that has happened to my son before when he traveled abroad on a school trip.
It has been a few years and I can only now talk about it without my blood pressure going up. My son was a rising 8th grader; that means he had completed 7th grade but had not yet started 8th grade. He studies Latin and French. He had the opportunity to go to Italy or France with a group of 15 boys chaperoned by three teachers from his school.
As you may recall, the summer of 2008 was the true beginning of The Great Recession as far as Main Street was concerned. Bear Stearns had already collapsed and the stock market was on shaky grounds. I was visiting Goldman Sachs on the last day that they were an Investment Bank. The following Monday they had become a Bank Holding Company. But I digress. I just want to emphasize that a lot of people were afraid that they would try to withdraw money from their ATM machine and nothing would come out. I really do have a lot of inside information about Wall Street.
Instead of 15 boys traveling to Italy with three teachers, 6 boys went to Italy with 3 teachers. I normally travel alone with my three children so this student teacher ratio was very low…2 boys to 1 teacher. I felt a sense of relief that they could keep track of all the boys. They toured Rome, Pompeii, Capri and Florence. They even visited a classmate’s family that owns a villa in Tuscany. They were very lucky boys, until my son got lost at the train station in Florence.
I will repeat this last statement. "THEY LOST MY SON AT THE FIRENZE TRAIN STATION IN ITALIA."
How can three teachers chaperoning 6 boys lose 1 boy at the train station? All you have to do is hold a boy with each hand. One adult watching two boys. It sounds easy to me. Here is the story that I was told by my son and his friends who went on the trip.
“They were late for the train that was to take them back to Rome for their departure to the USA on the following day. One of the teachers decided to go to McDonald’ s before they boarded the train.”
I paid how much money for my son to go to Italy to eat American fast food. I should have gotten a refund for his trip.
“We were running to catch the train." The teachers said, "Get on the train." My son is a very fast runner. My son got on the train. The doors closed. The teachers and the rest of the group were still standing on the platform. When he turned around and realized that no one from his group was on the train, he started banging on the door. The teachers were banging on the train doors from the platform. The train departed the station on time.
“But this train was not going to Rome", where their airplane was scheduled to depart the following day, it was headed to Bologna. It was going in the opposite direction. Luckily, my son is very smart. He found the conductor and showed him his itinerary. He did not have his passport. Of course his teachers had his passport. They were the responsible ones. The conductor did not stop the train. He did contact the Florence train station. At the next train stop, he was escorted by the Police on the next train to Florence. His group was waiting for him.
One of the teachers during this episode cursed so much that my son said that he had never heard some of the words before. The school did not call to notify me that my son had been lost. I only heard about it when I picked him up from the airport when all of his friends came over to tell me what had happened to him. They all had PTSD.
DO I GET A REFUND NOW?
Let’s not talk about how much food they ate over the two weeks when they were in Italia. My son came home emaciated. He lost at least 10 pounds during the trip. He said they ate meat only once during the entire trip when they were at his friend’s villa. They ate lots of pasta, pizza and McDonald’s. My son does not eat fast food. He is a very healthy eater.
In the summer of 2008, the US dollar was very weak versus the Euro dollar. The teachers did not have enough money to properly feed the children. No one on this trip was on scholarship. Why didn't the teachers call the school and advise them that they needed more money? I am sure that the families of the 6 boys would have gladly paid a supplemental fee to make sure that their children were given an adequate amount of food each day. My son was starving when he came home. He had been lost. He also thought that he had been bitten by bed bugs at the Convent that they stayed at in Rome.
The teachers did make a lovely photo book about the trip that included a quote from my son.
“I am proud of myself that I came on this trip, because I have seen one of the greatest cities in the world. I would have never imagined that a city would be this rich in historical architecture. I know in the future I will come back, but there is nothing like witnessing something so glorious for the first time.”
My son denies writing this quote.
Was this trip was worth it? I guess he will always remember this trip to Italy. Hopefully, this summer will be uneventful.
DAYM
6.2.2012
Addendum
My son got sick at school last week and had to come home from boarding school early. He finished his classes but was unable to take his exams. He has some kind of mysterious virus or mono.
He will not be able to go to France this summer. We are not eligible for a refund because he got sick after the deadline for any refund.
Has anyone ever gotten a refund from a summer camp? Please let me know.
DAYM
I just completed, I think, all of the forms for summer camps and summer internships. My children are older now. The number of forms that I had to complete this year was significantly less than the number of forms that I had to fill out when the children were younger.
When my children were 5, 7 and 12 years old, I had one folder for each child that contained all of the summer camp forms that needed to be completed. If I was not organized, I might miss a deadline or forget to fill out an important form. There were forms to fill out for them to be a member of the swim team. In addition, each sports' camp, theatre camp, tennis camp or academic enrichment camp had different general information forms. Each camp also needed pictures, medical history forms, medical authorization forms in the event of an emergency, photo release forms, and clothing sizes for the camp uniform, which was usually a t-shirt or a swimsuit.
When you have just one child this task does not seem too daunting. If you have three children attending at least three different camps and sometimes attending more than three different camps each, you want to pull your hair out. I would get writer’s cramp because these forms all had to be filled out by hand. In the year 2000 A.D., when we were living in the stone ages, no one had forms that were completed on the computer. No one had auto-fill. Even on this day in the year 2012, I had to complete several forms the old fashioned way by using handwriting and not computer typing.
My son is studying abroad this summer. I needed a copy of his passport, an insurance information and release form, which also needed an authorization form completed by our insurance company. Just in case he had a medical emergency abroad, we might get reimbursed for it. Insurance companies rarely reimburse us for medical emergencies in the USA, so I doubt that we will get any money from them if the emergency takes place in a foreign country. Finally, I had to complete a passport information form, in the event that my son lost his passport. These forms were in addition to the Enrollment Contract, the Rules Contract and the Statement of Understanding Contract that were completed by my son when he applied to be accepted to this language immersion and art history study program 5000 miles away from home. He also had to get 4 additional passport photos taken that will be used for an international student ID and a bus pass.
In addition to all of the forms that had to be filled out, there is also an eight-page guide called, “Notes”. It took me one full day to read and complete all of the forms and call the insurance company. I also think that I should hire a lawyer to make sure that I am not signing away any of my rights to litigate the school, in the case they lose my child. Yes, that has happened to my son before when he traveled abroad on a school trip.
It has been a few years and I can only now talk about it without my blood pressure going up. My son was a rising 8th grader; that means he had completed 7th grade but had not yet started 8th grade. He studies Latin and French. He had the opportunity to go to Italy or France with a group of 15 boys chaperoned by three teachers from his school.
As you may recall, the summer of 2008 was the true beginning of The Great Recession as far as Main Street was concerned. Bear Stearns had already collapsed and the stock market was on shaky grounds. I was visiting Goldman Sachs on the last day that they were an Investment Bank. The following Monday they had become a Bank Holding Company. But I digress. I just want to emphasize that a lot of people were afraid that they would try to withdraw money from their ATM machine and nothing would come out. I really do have a lot of inside information about Wall Street.
Instead of 15 boys traveling to Italy with three teachers, 6 boys went to Italy with 3 teachers. I normally travel alone with my three children so this student teacher ratio was very low…2 boys to 1 teacher. I felt a sense of relief that they could keep track of all the boys. They toured Rome, Pompeii, Capri and Florence. They even visited a classmate’s family that owns a villa in Tuscany. They were very lucky boys, until my son got lost at the train station in Florence.
I will repeat this last statement. "THEY LOST MY SON AT THE FIRENZE TRAIN STATION IN ITALIA."
How can three teachers chaperoning 6 boys lose 1 boy at the train station? All you have to do is hold a boy with each hand. One adult watching two boys. It sounds easy to me. Here is the story that I was told by my son and his friends who went on the trip.
“They were late for the train that was to take them back to Rome for their departure to the USA on the following day. One of the teachers decided to go to McDonald’ s before they boarded the train.”
I paid how much money for my son to go to Italy to eat American fast food. I should have gotten a refund for his trip.
“We were running to catch the train." The teachers said, "Get on the train." My son is a very fast runner. My son got on the train. The doors closed. The teachers and the rest of the group were still standing on the platform. When he turned around and realized that no one from his group was on the train, he started banging on the door. The teachers were banging on the train doors from the platform. The train departed the station on time.
“But this train was not going to Rome", where their airplane was scheduled to depart the following day, it was headed to Bologna. It was going in the opposite direction. Luckily, my son is very smart. He found the conductor and showed him his itinerary. He did not have his passport. Of course his teachers had his passport. They were the responsible ones. The conductor did not stop the train. He did contact the Florence train station. At the next train stop, he was escorted by the Police on the next train to Florence. His group was waiting for him.
One of the teachers during this episode cursed so much that my son said that he had never heard some of the words before. The school did not call to notify me that my son had been lost. I only heard about it when I picked him up from the airport when all of his friends came over to tell me what had happened to him. They all had PTSD.
DO I GET A REFUND NOW?
Let’s not talk about how much food they ate over the two weeks when they were in Italia. My son came home emaciated. He lost at least 10 pounds during the trip. He said they ate meat only once during the entire trip when they were at his friend’s villa. They ate lots of pasta, pizza and McDonald’s. My son does not eat fast food. He is a very healthy eater.
In the summer of 2008, the US dollar was very weak versus the Euro dollar. The teachers did not have enough money to properly feed the children. No one on this trip was on scholarship. Why didn't the teachers call the school and advise them that they needed more money? I am sure that the families of the 6 boys would have gladly paid a supplemental fee to make sure that their children were given an adequate amount of food each day. My son was starving when he came home. He had been lost. He also thought that he had been bitten by bed bugs at the Convent that they stayed at in Rome.
The teachers did make a lovely photo book about the trip that included a quote from my son.
“I am proud of myself that I came on this trip, because I have seen one of the greatest cities in the world. I would have never imagined that a city would be this rich in historical architecture. I know in the future I will come back, but there is nothing like witnessing something so glorious for the first time.”
My son denies writing this quote.
Was this trip was worth it? I guess he will always remember this trip to Italy. Hopefully, this summer will be uneventful.
DAYM
6.2.2012
Addendum
My son got sick at school last week and had to come home from boarding school early. He finished his classes but was unable to take his exams. He has some kind of mysterious virus or mono.
He will not be able to go to France this summer. We are not eligible for a refund because he got sick after the deadline for any refund.
Has anyone ever gotten a refund from a summer camp? Please let me know.
DAYM
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