Tis the Season

Before the Great Recession, there was a great rush – one could even say a panic – to identify the “it" toy of the holiday season. I remember the year Tickle Me Elmo was introduced. That was before people even shopped on the Internet, but I was online trying to bid for the one and only toy that would bring "joy and happiness" to my children. I am glad those days are over!

I used to put so much effort into identifying what I thought would be a fun, educational, or simply the must-have toy for the season. I would call my friends and discuss trends and availability. Now I look back on it and realize that I was more involved in this hunt than was healthy. The effort surely was not for the children. I think that buying the toys was a way to prove to myself that I loved them. Trust me, I know that this is not normal. But as parents we buy into the notion that we should get our children a lot of stuff that they neither need nor really want.

Last year, I asked my children what they got for Christmas the year before. I continued to question them about what they got for Christmas when they were ten, nine, eight, seven, six, and five years old. Today, they are 15, 18 and 22 years old. THEY COULD NOT REMEMBER ONE TOY THEY RECEIVED. I was shocked to think of all the effort I seem to have wasted finding “the one” toy each year, none of which they could even remember.

My children do remember making holiday shirts to wear for Christmas Eve. When the kids were young, I made the shirts all by myself. As they got older, they wanted to design the shirts. Designing them evolved into a competition. Then, after twenty years of making shirts, two years ago we bought shirts already decorated. But this made the kids sad. So last year, they bought and designed the shirts then gave them to us as Christmas gifts. I know years from now they’ll probably be making shirts with their own children.

I have a girlfriend who was older when she had her first child and listened to my advice about the downside of creating a "material girl". She frequently tells her young daughter when she asks for a toy that "it is not in the budget”.

Recently, I was watching a new reality TV show called "Downsized or Downsizing". I was struck by how well-adjusted the six children were after losing their home. Each was only getting one thing, $50 or less, for Christmas. But they were so happy to get any toy after having lost their home. It seemed as though they were just happy to have each other.

I saw a bumper sticker that is going to be my motto for the "Third Chapter" of my life. It read, “The Best Things in life are not things”. I emailed this quotation to my husband and children. I wanted them to know how blessed I feel to have them in my life. If we lost all of our material possessions, but still had each other and all of our memories, I would be happy.

Diary of a Yale Mom